Woke up very early today n went to the market with mum. She had to buy lots of things, I have to be with her to help carry those heavy stuff. The market was damn crowded, must be the public holiday. Ha, I think I’m the tallest in the whole market, overlooking a sea of old aunties n young mums. Still remember I used to run round the market when I was young. Those market trips with mum were very enjoyable as it seemed like a playground to me. As for now, I prefer the comfort of the supermarkets, but the wet markets hold a special memory for me.

Boring holiday spent at home. Dad went to work, mum went to play mahjong n sis went out to study with friends. I was left at home all by myself. Watched Batman Begins n Robots. I know I’m kinda slow to only watch batman now, but I had no one to watch it with me back then. Nvm, at least it’s cheaper to rent a DVD. Great movie, acted by the great Christian Bale. He’s able to portray the darkness in Bruce Wayne. George Clooney was a joke in Batman & Robin years ago; he’s more suited to roles such as the one in Ocean’s Eleven.

2 films, 4 hours, n it was only 3pm. My butt was numb sitting on the rock hard chair in my living room. Went back to my room n was greeted with silence from the walls. Loneliness sucks, especially during this time of my life. I dun wanna think about it, but there are traces of her everywhere in my room, in every corner. So much so that I dun wanna see the things from her, I couldn’t bear to remove them. Argh.. Why didn’t I just faint n bleed to death that night so that I won’t live to see what’s going on today? I need to keep my mind occupied or insanity will catch up with me. Sometimes I feel like just knocking my head n go unconscious for a long long time.

Ok, I’m turning suicidal, which is very bad. I have to clear my mind. Went to the reservoir to run under the torturing sun. My breathing tract was blocked by the huge amount of mucus left behind by the flu. Could hardly breathe n had to stop a few times clearing my throat. The mucus n the heat took my mind off her for a while. At least it felt better after sweating it out.

Meeting up with zheng rong tmr. Great to see my best friend again after almost 2 months. Liverpool vs Anderlecht later at 2.45am. Definitely can’t miss it. If Pool wins, they’re through to the next round.

As for my previous post, even though my confidence had been battered pretty badly after a r/s failure, I won’t lock my heart in a casket to make it unbreakable n impenetrable. All human needs love, I need it too. Today is the 1st of Nov, the release date of Jay Chou's November Chopin album. Last yr, i got it for her, the yr b4, i shared half the cost. This yr, nothing i could do. Hope she got it n is enjoying the songs now. Guess she's waiting for the MTV version too. Hai...

I’m exhausted, emotionally n physically. Gonna retire for the day. *~Good Nite~*